Weezer (Blue Album)

1. Overrated, obviouslybut still decent. “Buddy Holly’s” the clear standout, a marriage of the chugging sludge-chainsaw guitar tones these guys were so fond of and a great tune with a singalong chorus for the whole family. And that’s the thing about Blue Album: there’s actually, y’know, tunes on this one. As opposed to something like the appalling Green Album, where Cuomo just rinses and recycles the same chords in the vain attempt to form cohesive songs, whining as loudly as he can over it, and telling the bass player and “drummer” to whack their respective instruments as hard as possible with their bare hands. Blue has “My Name Is Jonas,” “Buddy Holly,” and “Undone” to its name, all three well-written, catchy, and fun. And it don’t get much more complicated than that: Weezer were never credible in terms of authenticity or quality, but once and a while they could pull out something you could toss on a mixtape for filler. Not Pixies in terms of hooky rock, but it’ll do.

2. The rest is… well, I was gonna say “take it or leave it,” but unless you’re twelve I invite you to leave the rest and proceed directly to anything Pavement made. Yeah, “inconsistent” isn’t quite the right word here. I’d say it’s an okay album, marred by a few excellent cuts that render the rest obsolete. “Surf Wax America” is fine enough, and “The World Has Turned and Left Me Here” is the band’s grimiest, loudest work here, worth a listen if you’re interested in the loud sections of “My Name Is Jonas” stretched to a full song. But other than those, plus the aforementioned terrific stuff, this is them redoing what they’d already done previously.

3. Small compliment: the guitars sound great. They’re mixed heavily, all in the foreground, occupying the entire mix, but not drowning out any essential parts of any tune. They sort of surround every song like a haze, roaring along quietly with the melody. I like me some sludge. Sluuuuuuudge.

4. This album as a whole can be summed up pretty analogously to one of its best songs, “Undone;” surprisingly pretty and tuneful at some points, sludgy and riff-heavy at others, with clever and playful lyrics that convey a childish, but charming, message of love and heartbreak. It’s a little too long, the vocal harmonies are annoying at times, and the drumming is kinda brain-dead, but its goods outweigh its bads overall. Its main flaw is in the “skits” that run through the pre-verse sections. Two people attempt to talk to some character (who I’m assuming is the main character of the scene), making conversation and trying to interact with him. (I’m picturing a dimly lit wooden floor, concrete walls, tall guy hunched over, long hair covering his eyes, dolefully looking out at the crowd but trying to pretend to appear bored.)  His responses consist of “yeah,” “OK,” and “alright,” in the sort of monotone you’d get from someone who really doesn’t want to be where he is, in this case a show. He seems nice enough, I suppose, but why expend all that effort when there’s plenty of people there who seem really cool, fun, and best of all, open? He seems like someone who could be fun on occasion, maybe to get drunk with and watch Wayne’s World, but wouldn’t stick around very long ’cause he’s not good at talking to people and just wants to go home. It just makes more sense to leave him alone to do his thing. There are other people at the party, man – they’re cooler than Weezer.






[Get it, dude? It’s, like, an analogy for like, listening to other, better bands than Weezer. Dude, that’s crazy. What a literary device he utilized. Powerful, man. Let’s go smoke and listen to Pavement.]

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